THE GUIDE'S TIPS TO: Dating
by Asha-Rose18
Summary: Ned's going out on his Monthsary date, Moze is going out on a date, and Cookie is going out on a fiasco; what could possibly go wrong? with these three, EVERYTHING.


The Guide's Tips to: DATING

**I don't really know if there's a tip to 'dating' already, but oh well, if there is, this is my version.**

**--**

Ned grinned a very large, very gloat grin. Yes, today was indeed the day. If he wasn't going to do it today, he would never have the chance to do it again. Cookie and Moze both raised their eyebrows as he closed his locker, making his happy, somewhat creepy facial expression visible for all to see.

"Let me guess, it's a _Suzie_ thing" Moze quoted the name Suzie in the air while talking in a very matter-of-factly tone. Cookie was already shrugging. Of course it was Suzie, I mean, it wasn't going to be about Professor Sweeney, right?

"Yes!" Ned cried, pointing his pointer fingers up in the air to show just how much of Suzie it meant.

"So, what about Suzie?" Cookie asked, giving his friends his very curious, very big grin.

"I'm going to ask her out on a date, it's our first monthsary" and his two friends both exchanged glances that he couldn't see.

*****

Cookie has just had the greatest idea. If Ned was going to ask Suzie _again_, then it was also a good time to finally ask (drum roll please) Lisa on one too. She was the nerd-turned-hot classmate of his that he really liked because she was really nice and pretty. But how was he going to ask her? Cookie may be the one of the smartest kids in school, but his asking-out skills were kind of crap. He scribbled something on a piece of paper and crumpled it, and then threw it at Lisa's direction.

_She wouldn't be able to resist Cookie-charm! Lisa will be mine! _He thought while watching the paper lose height and start to fall in Lisa's direction.

Then someone got in the way.

Cookie's eyes widened, so much that they popped out of his sockets. Oh My God. Of all the people that it could hit on, why did it have to be—

"Who threw this piece of paper!?" It was Evelyn Kwong. She opened the piece of paper and her eyes immediately narrowed. Cookie didn't wait; he stood up and ran to the teacher in front.

"I'd like the hall pass please!" he said in a flurry, and before Evelyn could follow, he ran away.

*****

"Ned! Ned, help me!" Cookie shook Ned so hard he almost toppled over, had Cookie not been holding on to his shirt.

"Cookie, what is wrong with you!?" It was Moze who answered, prying Ned away from his grasp. Ned smoothed his shirt and looked back at Cookie.

"What happened?"

"You said you were going to ask Suzie on a date so I figured I'd ask Lisa on a date too so I threw her my note asking if she would go with me on one but it didn't reach her, it hit Evelyn Kwong instead!" he explained far too fast. Ned did a wince-like expression, Moze rolled her eyes.

"Now she's going to find me!" Cookie said with fear, running left, and right and then left again "And she's going to kill me!" He looked with fearful eyes around "I have to hide!"

"Don't think there's going to be enough time for _that_…" Moze said, pointing in the direction of the class Cookie had just come from.

"SIMON!" Evelyn started screeching from across the hall, giving no time for Cookie to escape his nasty fate.

"Ohh!" He said anyway and started running.

"Come back here!" and Evelyn followed, running after him through the hallway.

"Wow, Cookie has really done it this time" Ned said, looking at the two one last time before shaking his head and returning to his locker "Anyway, Suzie's coming here this Saturday and I'm going to make it a surprise date, so today, I'm reserving the restaurant"

Moze snorted "Why not _call_ Suzie first? She may be busy, you know"

"Aha! That's where you're wrong!" Ned said, dialing the numbers on his phone "I already asked her about her schedule, and that day's free!"

"Suit yourself, Ned" she said, when they were approached by Faymen "Hi Faymen"

He smiled, and she smiled back "Moze, do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow?"

Moze looks first back at Ned, and then at Faymen "Of course I'd go on _another_ date with you, Faymen" he smiled and gave her a big kiss on the lips, which she gladly accepted and gave back. Then he grinned one more time, acknowledged that Ned was there, and walked to his next class.

Then Moze's smile was gone. "Nothing!" she cried in exasperation "WHY" she punched into her other hand.

"IS"

"THERE"

"NOTHING?" she punched one more time and calmed down "I am calm…I am calm…"

Ned was inching away earlier, but seeing that his bestfriend had calmed down—a _bit_—He clapped her on the back and shrugged in a very you'll-get-over-it way. Then his phone rang "It's Suzie!"

He immediately flicked open his phone and answered "Suzie, Hi!" when Moze saw that he was going to be too occupied to listen to her any longer, she stalked away.

"Hi Ned, just want to tell you I'm coming over!" Suzie's voice emanated from the phone "Listen, I have to tell you something—

"Oh, me too, I just can't wait to spend time with you, I missed you a lot Suzie" He was grinning widely from ear to ear "So what did you have to tell me?"

The other line was quiet for a while, but Ned didn't notice "Oh I'll tell you when I come there, see you Ned"

"See you Suzie!" he said cheerily, and the other line went dead. Ned was still grinning to himself though.

"Ned Bigby! You're late for class, and that grin is scaring me! NOT!" Vice-principal Krubbs snatched his glasses off his face, only to reveal another pair of glasses. Ned was still grinning.

"I'm going to ask Suzie to go out with me" he said dreamily.

"Oh I'm sure that would be great for you, but now, you're fired!" He said, pointing a finger at his trouble-prone student.

Ned was unwittingly pulled back into reality "but I don't work for you"

"I meant detention, now off you go, Bigby" he made the 'I'm watching you' gesture and walked away. It wasn't long before Ned started daydreaming again. Then, when the word 'detention' slowly sank into him

"NO!!!" he cried, but no one was there, so he walked off to class, muttering 'Krubbs is going to get it' under his breath.

*****

"No, don't kill me Evelyn!" Cookie inched into a corner, Evelyn having cornered him with no chance of escaping.

She grinned "I'm not going to _kill_ you, _boyfriend!"_ Cookie looked like he was about to puke, but Evelyn smirked and held him up by his arms. "Where are we going on Saturday?" she waved the crumpled paper in his face, and he looked like he was about to cry.

"No, that's not yours" he explained to her "I was going to give it to someone else"

"WHAT!? Now I _am_ going to kill you!" she said, walking to him in a threatening way. Cookie froze.

"No, what I meant was that _is_ yours, and I was going to give it to someone else to _give_ it to _you_" he said, giving the girl a wary look. She seemed to buy it.

"Okay, we're going out this Saturday, and remember" she gave Cookie a grave look, one that made him gulp "I know where you live" after that threat, she walked away.

Cookie hyperventilated. His stupidity had just landed him a date with the meanest _thing_ in school. Soon, bad thoughts were clouding his mind. In one, he could see himself exploding on the date. With the realization that he was a goner if he went on the date that Saturday, his hyperventilation went double-speed "I have to get out of that date!"

*****

**(Dismissal)**

"Hey Ned, you going home?" Moze said, walking by his locker.

"No, I got detention for staying in the hallways" Ned beamed "But it's not going to hinder my mood with Suzie, oh no, this Bigby remains—he made an upside-down half-circle with his fingers—with a smile"

"Great" Moze said, and Ned didn't even notice the hint of sarcasm in it "Now who's going to help me look _at least_ giddy when Faymen kisses me again?"

Ned looked at her "What do you need me for?"

"I wanted you to check my expression and tell me if looked okay, but now I'd have to ask _Cookie_" the mention of Cookie made them both look around for their crazy, computer-geek friend. "Where is Cookie anyway?"

"I'm here" said Cookie, who was probably trying to look inconspicuous, but was failing terribly.

"Hey Cookie, why do you have a paper bag on your head!?" Moze asked, while Ned looked at his friend like he had grown Hydra heads.

"It's not helping, isn't it?" He said, sighing as he pulled it off "I'm going on the date with _Evelyn Kwong!"_ his face contorted into his very Cookie-like frown.

Ned bleagh-ed but Moze stared him down.

"Cookie, Evelyn's _not _going to_ kill_ you" She explained "just tell her that you don't want to"

"But she knows where I live!"

Moze frowned "Then just take her to the movies and get it over with!" Cookie was frowning at this conclusion, looking to Ned for any help available.

"You can—Ned paused as he considered the possibilities—fake an illness?"

Cookie's face lighted up, giving Ned a big Cookie-smile "That's right! I'll do it!"

"Hey, you have to help me with my expressions today, okay?"

"I'm sorry Moze, but I can't" Cookie smiled and walked away. Moze was getting annoyed again.

"Great, now _who's_ going to help me!?" Moze said, flailing up her hands in irritation.

"Maybe I could, why don't I just come over later by your place?" Ned didn't want to disappoint his bestfriend, so he didn't. She smiled at him.

"Aww, thanks Ned" she said, patting him on the back "I'll tell mom to cook a large batch of Choco-chip cookies for you" it was there again, that bright halo-ish aura that always seemed to emanate from her when she smiled at him, but Ned knew for a fact it wasn't Gordy's light problem anymore. Now, though, he was slowly getting used to it; he had to, because Suzie wouldn't appreciate it if she found out he was hearing angels singing all because Moze had _smiled._

It wasn't real…It was just his imagination. Yes, that was it. They always said he had a wild imagination.

"Ned?" She was looking at him with mild concern, maybe because of the fact that he was still staring at her "Hello? Earth to Ned Bigby?"

"Yeah, I'll come over…" He said in a flurry "See you at seven"

"Wow, never knew my mom's cookies had that effect on you," she said, and he heard himself laugh almost hysterically as if _that _was indeed the reason, which was of course, not true "anyway, see you Ned" with a last wave and smile—another dazzling one—Moze walked out of the school with the little students that had remained. The others left earlier. Only he was back here because of 'detention'.

"Hmm…so you're seeing _Moze_ now, huh?" Gordy had walked over to him, which he didn't noticed, so he jumped when he talked.

What did he just say? Ned frowned "No…no! I'm not going out with Moze, we're just friends" he explained "I was going to go help her with something at her place, after all, I live right next to her"

"Neddy," His janitor friend sighed "Neddy, Neddy, Neddy, Neddy…" Gordy said, clapping him on the back and directing him to the room where detentions were held "When are you going to admit that you _do_ like Moze?"

Ned jumped out of his hand to turn "No, I like_ Suzie_, who is coming here this Saturday and who I'm asking out for a monthsary date" Gordy rolled his eyes

"Suit yourself, Ned" He said, walking away "Now, I gotta go hide before Krubbs asks me to wipe the windows"

"Yeah, see you Gordy" Ned said, waving "pft_. Moze_…" he said and opened the door into the detention room.

*****

**(Later that evening)**

"Yep, that looks uhh..." Ned was trying his best not to laugh, least she kicks him out "authentic?"

Moze saw through his voice, turning back to give him a stern, take-it-seriously look "Come on Ned, I have to _at least_ show him I'm interested"

Ned took a cookie and bit into it, while Moze scrambled up to sit beside him on her bed. She took a cookie as well and bit into it with a bit too much force than necessary.

"I just don't get it" she cried, giving the poor delicious treat another violent bite "It's like my off-on switch just won't turn on with Faymen!"

Ned was listening, but he didn't know what to say, so he shut up.

"I mean, it always did with— realizing she was about to say '_with you'_, she redirected it to "With o-other guys…"

Ned nodded, biting into his cookie, and once again proved just how clueless he was when it came to most things like this. The very reason his 'girls' tip page was written—not by him—but by Moze, because he was _clueless._

But Moze sighed in relief when he didn't notice. It would've been awkward.

"Can we try again?" she pleaded a while later, and Ned, not wanting to disappoint her- and her mom's cookies - shrugged a yes.

*****

Cookie paced left, then he paced right. His phone was sitting snugly in the midst of all the gadgets that had cluttered his bedside table. Any minute he would be calling the evil fiend he called Evelyn, and there was a ninety-nine percent chance she would kill him first thing that Monday. Oh the tragedy of his life. Why did it always have to come in the form of Evelyn? Why?

Finally, he sucked up all the courage he had and took the phone, browsing through his numbers till he reached the name _Evelyn K._

While it rang, he could feel his sweat pour down in barrels, but there was no turning back now. If he didn't answer, she'd still know through Caller I.D.

"Hello?" Evelyn said on the other line.

"Hi-_cough-_Evelyn?" He said in his best 'I'm kinda sick' voice.

"Let me guess…" Evelyn said acidly from the other line "You're _sick_?"

"I'm so glad you understand"

"You're lucky, Simon" she said "But the next time, you're not going to be so lucky again, get well soon" and she put the phone down, without so much as a goodbye.

Still, Cookie grinned "Now to ask Lisa" and this time, he pressed speed dial for Lisa, who was number three.

"Hey Lisa, do you want to go on a date with me?" he asked when she said hello on the other line.

"Cookie?" Lisa said, and he nodded. Then, realizing he was talking to her _on the phone_, he said

"Yep, it's me"

"And you want to go on a date with me?" she prompted.

"Yeas, I would've asked you sooner, but I got caught up in some things" he explained, other things meaning Evelyn. "So, would you go out with me?"

"Yeah, why not?" Lisa said, and Cookie jumped up and down in glee.

"Yeah! So I'll pick you up tomorrow around seven?"

"Seven it is…" Lisa sounded like she was smiling "See you Cookie"

"See yah!" Cookie answered, and then wondered why it had sounded so familiar when he did.

"Hey Cook, you just sounded like this girl from Washington, what's her name—Simone?" Oh yeah…Simone. Oh Crud.

"Uhh—uhh," he said, suddenly wishing he didn't do it "I gotta go, see you Lisa!" and when she mumbled bye, he ended the conversation.

"_Why_ did I have to do that!?" he said to himself, putting the phone back down "Anyway," He started to do a victory dance in his own little room "I'm going out with Lisa, I'm going out with Lisa!"

Ahh, yes. Being Cookie was _good_.

*****

**(Saturday)**

Ned woke up feeling particularly high-spirited, so much it was bordering on giddiness. Suzie was probably on her way by then, if she wasn't already there. He reckoned it was time to call her. So he reached for the phone on his bedside table and pressed number three on his speed dial. Moze was first, Cookie was second and number three was his Lady, Suzie C.

It was already noon so he figured she would be awake, and he wasn't disappointed.

"Hello?" Suzie said on the other line.

"Hey Suzie, it's me Ned"

There was a pause before she answered "Oh Ned, listen, I have to tell you something—

"Happy first Monthsary, Suzie!" He cried cheerily "and to celebrate, I've booked us a table at the Loveseat, you know, that restaurant you've always wanted to try, the one you told me about"

The other line was quiet again for a moment, before Suzie spoke up "Ned, that's wonderful!"

"That's because you're special" He said back "So, I'll pick you up where you're staying around seven?"

"No, I'll just go there, Ned" Ned figured it was because she didn't want to be a bother, so he said yes.

"Oh, and sorry for cutting you off again" he said sheepishly "What was it you wanted to say?"

"Umm…nothing, see you Ned" and again, the phone went dead.

Ahh yes, It was good to be him.

Five hours later, he had started to dress up. He was going to go for his usual, but he figured he should dress more appropriately for the occasion.

**TIP: Dress appropriately for a date.** You do not want to appear looking like you've just gone out of bed or like you had just put on something that was there five minutes before you left for your date. Your date would appreciate the effort you put and hopefully, you'd get a second date.

So he took a nice looking blue polo shirt—nice but not overly formal—and his best-fitting jeans. He also combed his hair and sprayed some perfume. If Suzie didn't notice how much effort he had put in this, no one would.

*****

Moze frowned, looking out of Faymen's parents' car. She had made the effort to look pretty for him, dressing up in a modest but pretty peach dress and an ivory cardigan. She also wore makeup, which she never did, and nice black ballet flats instead of the usual sneakers.

Faymen looked impressed, as he kept staring at her all throughout the trip "You look beautiful, Jennifer"

She smiled in what she hoped was a real smile "Thanks Faymen, so where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise" he only grinned.

"Oh, okay" she grinned back and he held her hand. It felt really nice, but not what she would call 'sparks-worthy'. Big sigh.

*****

Cookie got some flowers and chocolates—thank you, Simone—and rang the doorbell for Lisa. She opened it after the first ring, looking pretty in a pastel pink tank top, a blazer in a darker shade, and a denim skirt. Cookie noticed at once, grinning at his lovely date for the evening.

"So Cookie, where are we going?" she asked when they had called for a cab.

"I thought we should see a movie" He answered "and then, if you want, we could go for some pizza" yep, he had it all planned out. Lisa was going to have so much fun she would agree on a second date.

"Sounds like fun"

"Girl, you're with the Cookie now…" Cookie said, puffing up his chest "and Cookie's _always_ fun" that made Lisa laugh, and Cookie proud at himself for making her laugh. He is _truly_ the man.

They went to the movies and agreed to watch a horror flick. "Zombies vs. Aliens two, sounds scary" Lisa said when they were buying soda and popcorn. But he waved it dismissively.

"Don't worry, I'll be beside you" he grinned knowingly "there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of" so they entered the dark theater and went to their seats. It was perfect. When she was scared, she would lean on him and cover her eyes, and he'd be the manly man who'd protect her from the evil and monsters. Ahh…Cookie charm would work indeed.

*****

Ned sat at the Loveseat, glancing now and then at door whenever someone opened it. Suzie wasn't there yet.

**TIP: Be punctual for your date.** You wouldn't want to keep your date waiting for long so remember to always be there on time.

"Waiter!" he called, and was responded to in a few minutes.

"Yes?"

"I'd like to order now please" he said and ordered all the food he thought Suzie would like, after all, he didn't want to keep her waiting. All the while, he still kept throwing glances to see if Suzie was coming. She still didn't show.

"Yeah, and two ice-creams, thanks" just when he ordered the last thing, the door swung open to reveal the girl of his dreams; the girl he's liked since he was eight years old. Suzie Crabgrass looked stunning in a green tank top and aqua skirt, with her hair pulled up in a high ponytail. She smiled upon seeing Ned, waving to him, while he grinned aimlessly at his beautiful girl.

*****

"Umm, Faymen, there's something I have to tell you" Moze bit out after they had kissed _again_. He moved back to look at her, a smile spread across his face.

"What is it, Jennifer?" he said in his thick Brazilian accent. Moze looked away and subconsciously began twiddling with her fingers, which she only did when she was really, really at a loss of what to say next. When she looked back, he was still staring at her, which made what she had to do harder than she had hoped it would. But she had to do it, no matter what this time, because she felt like she was just using him by always doing what she was doing. Maybe the reason why she didn't feel anything when he kissed her _was _because she didn't feel anything _at all_.

"I-I—she stuttered, trying her best to sound as nice as possible

"Yes?" He prompted.

"I-we need a cool off…" there she said it. He frowned. "I mean, only for a while…"

"What's _cool off_?" argh. She wanted to lash at something and was quite sure a vein was already popping in her temples like all those cartoons she used to watch with Ned, but she stopped herself from losing it. Faymen didn't do anything wrong, she was just too apprehensive at the moment.

"I mean, I think we have to stop seeing each other, you know, for a while…" she explained, and this time, he understood. She knew because he frowned and looked at her grimly, a big difference from the moony eyes he was making at her earlier.

"Why?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just got to think about stuff for a while, you know" she gestured and talked, but try as she might, she couldn't tell him without it going back to that fact that she felt almost nothing for him anymore. Not like she felt anything about him then, as far as his kisses went.

"Is it about Ned?" and she choked. Then she began shaking her head.

"No, of course not," she said, though he remained looking unconvinced "Ned's got nothing to do with this, we're just friends, no, this is all about me" he shrugged, but let it go "I'm sorry Faymen"

He sighed, and got up. "I understand" taking her hand, he gave it one last kiss, and smiled one last time, then he paid for their meal and left. Moze sighed. She felt horrible, but to be honest, relieved. She looked around the place Faymen had taken her to; it was fancy and quite nice, with pink chairs and red drapes and magenta walls. The tables had lit scented candles in them and the place was mostly visited by couples.

"No wonder they call it the Loveseat" she muttered, then reckoning she must look like an idiot sitting there alone like a moron, she got up and walked to the stairs to leave. She had heard of this place before from Suzie, but never really _liked_ it. When Suzie entered her thoughts, she was suddenly curious of how Ned's date was turning out "Well, couldn't be worse than mine…" she said sarcastically, inching away from the couple making out a table away.

*****

Lisa had to drag Cookie out of the theater hall, who was so afraid he looked like he was petrified. He looked pale and was sweating profusely, even if the cinema had been fully air-conditioned. "Cookie, are you okay?" she tried nudging him, but she was met with silence. He still wasn't answering.

"Cookie? Cookie!" finally she slapped him, which brought him back to his senses "you okay?"

"Is the movie over?" Cookie asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, you froze after about twenty minutes, but it's okay" Lisa smiled like nothing had happened. "You still wanna go get that pizza?"

Cookie could feel his red cheeks getting cooler by the second and his lips starting to smile, which was a good thing. "Yep" he nodded, taking her hand "let's get that pizza" but before they could leave, a familiar voice rang in his ears, making him shiver from behind. How did she find him there?

"SIMON!" She shrieked, making him freeze in his tracks. Lisa turned around and waved at her like nothing was wrong, but oh was she wrong about that. Everything was now deeply and utterly _wrong._

Finally he turned. "Hello Evelyn"

She rose her thin eyebrow at him "aren't you supposed to be _sick?_" Lisa turned to face him.

"You were?"

He winced and turned back to Evelyn "I-I got better?"

"And you decided to call Lisa instead of going out with me…" Evelyn said icily, making him guilty of his actions, but mostly scared because Lisa was hearing the entire thing, and from the look on her face, he wasn't her favorite person right now.

"You asked Evelyn out, and then called in sick to go out with _me_?" she asked him, giving Evelyn a look apologizing for _his _mistake. Evelyn was smug, she wasn't glad of her victory, only smug. "I don't think I want that pizza anymore, see you Monday Cook" and before he could so much as beg her not to go, Lisa had walked out of the movie theater and had called a cab on her own.

Then he turned back to Evelyn, who was glaring at him "What? You can gloat now, Lisa's gone, and it's all your fault, why were you stalking me anyway?"

She scoffed "For once I wasn't _stalking _you" she crossed her arms round her chest "I just_ happened_ to feel like watching a movie today" was it just him or did Evelyn seem a little less evil, and not too happy. "I really believed you were sick, Simon" she said "it sucks that you had to lie"

"But you were threatening me!" he retorted. He wasn't going to take _all_ the blame, because some of it _was_ her fault. "Besides, the letter was really supposed to be for Lisa, you just got in the way"

"Yeah I know…" Evelyn said, scratching her head "and I know I could get pushy and mean sometimes, but I wanted you to see that I'm not _so_ bad" she shrugged, making him feel crappier than he had felt in months, mostly because she was admitting her faults and he was pushing them at her. Finally she rolled her eyes and started walking past him, embarrassed that she said the things she had just said.

"Ohh…" Cookie mumbled and held her wrist, making her stop in her tracks.

"What?!" she said, turning back.

"Do you want to get that pizza?" he asked, trying his best not to wince. This 'nicer' Evelyn was going to need a little getting used to. She did smile when he said that, and it wasn't one of those creepy grins she usually sported. It was just, well, a nice smile.

"As long as I get to pick the pizza…" she said, and he nodded.

"Yep, deal" he held out his arm and she took it "Let's go?"

"Yep," she replied, walking out with him of the movie theater "Let's go"

*****

When Suzie entered the Loveseat, Ned was so busy grinning he didn't notice the face she was sporting. When you are on a date, it's kind of customary that you looked happy to see the person you were having the date with, but Suzie wasn't very happy.

"Hi Suzie!" Ned beamed, giving Suzie a kiss on the cheek. "I ordered some food while waiting for you, but you could order your own if you—

"Ned, I really have to tell you something…" she cut him off. This time he shut up and listened to her, instead of cutting her off like he had done with most of their conversations lately.

"Yes, anything…" he said.

"I," she started, and then broke off. He refrained from talking. She needed her time and that's what he would give her, which was what boyfriends are for. "I'm seeing someone else" like a mirror had just cracked his happy grin; it almost immediately turned into a frown.

"What?" he asked, barely aware of the fact that his voice was going three octaves higher. Suzie Crabgrass, the girl of his dreams, sighed.

"I wanted to tell you but I chickened out, so I waited for us to meet, then you ordered the food but I really couldn't take it any longer" she was rambling her explanation, but no matter, he couldn't hear most of it anyway "I'm seeing this guy at my new school, he's nice and we talk a lot and stuff and" she burst into tears "Ned, I'm sorry!" she patted him on the back and ran away, leaving Ned alone, staring after her with a blank, incredulous expression.

"Your order, two salmon pastas and a garlic bread basket" the waiter put down the food, oblivious to the thing that had just happened between him and the girl he had been pinning for since he was eight years old.

"Thank you" he mumbled, feeling alone and helpless. He stared at the food, too stunned to eat, eventhough he hadn't eaten a thing all day due to his over-excitement with his date, which had now gone from heaven to splat in a matter of minutes. He considered leaving it, but it had cost him all his lunch money and savings just to get her here, and now she was gone.

"Ned?" someone patted him. It was a familiar soft touch that was just the thing he needed. Moze frowned at his expression and sat across the table. "Your date was here, too?"

"She's gone…" was all he could mutter.

"Suzie? She had to leave early?" Ned was frowning as he shook his head.

"She's seeing someone else" Moze's mouth formed an O of understanding, and reached across the table to pat his arm.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" and he sadly shook his head.

"At least your night seems to have gone on better than mine…" he mumbled, but she snorted in spite of herself.

"Yeah, if you call having a cool-off with Faymen a good thing" Ned's face turned from lonely to confused for a few minutes, before turning back again.

"You cooled off?" he asked, spearing his fork into the pasta he wasn't sure he was in the mood to eat. Moze snorted.

"Yeah, after appetizers…when he _kissed_ me" she shook her head "It really just didn't feel right"

"Suzie was right…" Ned mumbled, more to himself than Moze "But now she's gone, and I'm all wrong…" Moze raised her brow, but what was she to say? So she didn't say anything. She shrugged instead. She did want to laugh at her best friend's crazy logic, but he might take it in a wrong way, so she clamped her lips shut. Ned was staring blankly at his pasta. A few moments later, he looked up at his best friend, who was looking at the pasta in front of her too.

"Moze, is it just me or you look kinda…different…" he was of course pertaining to the entirety of her, not just the fact that she seemed to be glowing even without the smile on her face. She looked up from the pasta she was staring at and smiled.

"Yep, I dolled myself up for Faymen, apparently for no reason" she frowned.

"Well, you look pretty" then a frown reformed on his face "Suzie was pretty too…but now she's gone" Moze didn't want him to sulk over Suzie again, so she kept him talking

"You don't look so bad yourself" she said, grinning "nice to see you following one of your procrastination tips for once" she reached out across the table once again to touch his hair "did you actually _comb_ this?"

He grinned at the mention of his tips and nodded "yep, I got ready two hours before, so Suzie would really appreciate the effort I—he stopped midway at the mention of Suzie again "But now she can't appreciate it, because she's _gone_!"

Moze frowned at him and sighed "_I_ appreciate it Ned, it's not every day I get to see you all clean and squeaky" and just to show him that losing Suzie was not the end of the world, she gave him a dazzling smile, which made the angels sing hallelujah and the light burst forth from her halo. Even if Ned was all sore about losing Suzie, it wasn't enough for him not to notice that beautiful smile on his bestfriend's lips. It was quite addictive too, soon he was grinning back at her. They were so busy smiling at each other, none of them heard the announcement being carried out by the front desk.

"_Attention! It is now time for the Loveseat Tradition!" _Said a cheery female voice "_and the table for today will be—table nine!"_ though Ned and Moze didn't notice, that was _their_ table. A band went over to their table and started playing, a pink spotlight illuminated the two of them, and it was just then that either of them noticed they were being watched. "_Now everybody, we have a young couple! Let's cheer them on for our tradition!"_

"Uhh, Ned, why are they looking at us, and why is there a spotlight lighting _us_?"

Ned shook his head, just as confused as she was "No idea"

It didn't take them long to find out "KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!" chanted the other customers, every eye looking at them. They both gave each other horrified looks.

"They're asking us to kiss each other!" Moze whispered frantically across the table, but Ned had already known. Moze tried waving them away, saying the two of them were just friends, but no one seemed to be listening. She was blushing bright red then. "We're not-We're not together!"

"KISS! KISS! KISS!" Moze turned back to Ned. Ned was shrugging in an ok-whatever way. He stood up , reached across the table for her (She had stood up as well), and their lips met in what was to be their third kiss ever, and they weren't even together. Though the table between them made it uncomfortable, neither of them felt it as they felt each other's lips. The both of them knew that had they not needed to brace their arms on the table to keep themselves from falling, their hands would be somewhere it really wanted to be. The crowd went wild, and still they didn't notice. Angels sang in a chorus above their heads and fireworks exploded before their shut eyes. Everything seemed to fade away—again—and if one of the violinists hadn't cleared his throat at them, they would've stayed like that for a much longer period of time.

"_Whew, that was one long kiss! Thank you table nine for being such good sports!" _the girls on the mic boomed "_everyone can now resume their meals"_ Ned and Moze had resumed their seats, both pink in the face and out of breath. It was quite hot again, and Cookie wasn't around to start a fire.

When the silence got quite awkward, it was Moze who spoke up first "I need a drink—

"Me too" Ned said almost immediately afterwards, and both their hands shot up for a waiter.

A short while and a drink later, they sank into their seats. "Can I stay for dinner? I really am quite hungry" Moze said nonchalantly, or that _was_ what she was going for. She felt quite awkward and it sucked. But, one glance at Ned, and seeing him looking back, they both burst into laughter. After all, they had never let a little kiss get in their way before, and it won't now. Seeing that he wasn't in anyway bothered by the fact that they had just _kissed_ again, she relaxed in her seat. He was nodding at her.

"Yep, after all, we were just forced into kissing each other _again_," yeah, _again_ "so I suppose a date with my bestfriend wouldn't hurt"

She grinned. She liked the way that sounded, a bestfriend date, and the fact that he had forgotten the earlier fiasco with Suzie, even for a while, was good too. Ned usually got so crushed when it came to Suzie. She was just glad he wasn't moping.

"Yeah, _this_ date won't hurt a bit" and she popped a piece of pasta in her mouth, glad her date wasn't such a fiasco after all.

**TIP: when you're down, a date with your bestfriend is a good remedy. **All the fun of dating without the tension and potential heart break (*wince*) of a _date_-date. You can go eat dinner, or share the night doing what you both always love to do, just like me and Moze, my bestfriend.

*****

**And that's it, my first ever Ned's Declassified SSG Fic. This just came to me after I watched the reruns of the series on NICK.**** I really like this pairing, because they writers didn't pair them up from day one, which is refreshing, and it's really, really funny.**

**As for the Cookie parts, it's an open ending. Use your imaginations about whether it would be Lisa or Evelyn. For me, I kinda like Evelyn. Such a funny character. Oh well, have fun with this one-shot. I hope I at least wrote it right. And it might have a part two, for when they fall in love. As you can see, this ended with them just as friends.**

**Oh and leave a comment for me, okay? I'd love you forever. Muah.**

**Peace Out**

**~ Asha-Rose**


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